How To Transform Conflict Into Closeness?

Simple Lessons For Effective Communication

If you have recently ended a relationship and are about to begin a new one, or if you are currently struggling with your partner, please consider the following powerful communication messages that I reminded my couple of.

Feeling safe with your partner means freedom from being insulted, ignored, rejected, unloved, or in any way diminished.
Nothing can be solved unless you listen to your partner and create a feeling of safety.
Talk about the problem like you are a team. If you don’t communicate in some way that you have heard each other and considered their concerns, there will be no cooperation.
Hurting your partner is hurting yourself (As Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.”)
Dirty fighting includes: (How many apply to you?) —
Personal insults
Bringing up history to prove a point
One-upping your partner
Threatening to leave or divorce
Lying / half-truths

How To Stop Making Things Worse

In any love relationship, safety is essential. Without a sense of safety, people are likely to attack each other. Why? Because the minute one’s sense of well-being is threatened they will need to protect themselves by attacking back.

If two people can’t trust each other to not inflict harm on their well-being, it’s impossible to work on their relationship.

IT’S THAT SIMPLE.

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Divorce & Relationship Expert

So fascinated, that I spent years reading study after study and devouring all the literature available about research other psychiatrists had done on divorce. I trained and practiced in both individual psychoanalysis and couples' work so I could help both individuals as individuals, but also the couple as a whole with two individuals in it. And from all that work, personal experience, and counseling thousands of individuals, I came up with my own unique relationship model, which I call Yours, Mine, Ours: Romantic Partnership Done Right. Over 35 years working in the field of psychotherapy Master’s degree from Columbia University Ph.D. from Union Institute 1995: Co-Founder & President of Choices: A Women’s Center for Mid-Life Development, providing counseling, support groups, professional speakers, author presentations, and conferences to educate and empower women. Consultant to Physicians For Human Rights (PHR), Nobel Peace prize recipients dedicated to he...

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