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Dr. Deborah Hecker giving out 3 Powerful Life Lessons to Learn From Divorce _____________________________________ Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your SELF   —  This is a 4 part video series that will help you in Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your SELF. Buy Now for Instant Access! Get the video series  for $97 instead of $300 . Offer Valid until October 31, 2019 Buy Now

A boundary is something that marks a limit. Think of psychological boundaries as guidelines that preserve your individuality from your partner’s. They comprise your uniqueness — your history, experiences, interests, personality, and values….your “you-ness.” Setting Clear Boundaries — I am not You Boundaries are crucial to enjoying healthy and secure relationships and avoiding dysfunctional ones. They define the safe and permissible ways you want to be treated by your partner and how you will respond if those limits are crossed. Consider the following questions to determine if your boundaries are clear: Do you know when to say “yes” or “no” to your partner? Are you clear how to respond if your partner steps outside your limits? Do you pretend to be someone you are not? Do you respect your partner as a unique individual or do you think you can read their mind? Do you ever weaken your boundaries by doing the following? Pretend to agree with your partn...

Hi, I’m Dr. Deb Hecker So, the marriage didn’t work out. It’s time to start enjoying life again. Right? Hands down, the #1 question I am asked by my divorcing clients is  “Will I ever feel happy again?” The simple answer is  “Of course, you absolutely can move beyond the agony of a broken heart and a failed marriage.” How do I know? I went through it, and with determination I survived, and then I thrived. YOU CAN TOO, BUT NOT BEFORE YOU DO A FEW THINGS. In the 4 part video series I have created for you,  P ost-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your SELF ,  I am going to take you on a journey that will give you crystal clear insight into*:* Why your marriage didn’t work out. How to begin developing a non-partnered identity. The steps to “divorce-proof” your future relationships In Video 1,  we will take a look at identity formation in childhood. Understanding this developmental phase is crucial. You may be surprised to learn that de...

Let’s Consider The “Emotional” Divorce Many, if not most, of the clients seen by a family law attorney manifest a high degree of anxiety. This anxiety (which can present in a variety of ways) can interfere with the attorney’s ability to concentrate on the legal aspects of the case. When the mental health aspects are severe, the attorney will refer the client to a mental health therapist. Sometimes, however, all the client needs is a guide to assist through the emotional aspects of the marital dissolution. Enter Collaborative divorce and its innovative use of mental health coaches. The purpose of this article is to give further support to the Collaborative movement’s recognition that the needs of divorcing families are better served by interdisciplinary collaboration between therapists and lawyers. In addition, I will examine the various roles that mental health experts can contribute to the divorcing process. Brief Overview of Interdisciplinary Cooperation Between Mental ...

In most divorce situations, one person wants out of the marriage while the other doesn’t. Even in cases where a couple mutually agrees to a divorce, there is usually one person wants to hold on to the marriage more than the other one does. Is it more difficult for the person left because they were blindsided and their world fell apart unexpectedly? Or, is it harder on the person leaving because they feel guilty about being the “bad guy” and having to hurt their partner? It is difficult for both of them. The Dumper While it may sound nonsensical to have made the decision to leave the marriage and be upset, contrary to popular belief, leaving the marriage doesn’t always make it any easier. The dumper is in the position of having to assume responsibility for a choice that inevitably throws them into total chaos and sadness, not to mention crippling self-doubt and regret. Also, one may not be able to honestly admit that they did everything they could to save the marriag...

In the following section, will share with you how people will grow and benefit from divorce counseling. Benefits Of Divorce Counseling Healing from a divorce is a three-step process; one must grieve their loss; they must create an identity as a non-partnered person; and they need to learn a new relationship model so they will avoid previous relationship pitfalls. Step 1  – Move beyond grief: Where there is attachment and loss, inevitably there will be grief. As a grieving person, you will experience many different raw, sometimes conflicting, emotions including, sadness, love, hate, fear, regret, guilt, depression and anxiety. Given the pain of grief, many people will try to bypass it. Counseling will help you to confront your emotions so that you can successfully move beyond them. Step 2 –  Develop an identity apart from one’s spouse: In order to fully understand why your marriage collapsed, you must be helped to step back in time, not to the beginning of the marr...

Let’s face it, divorce is miserable. But the road to recovery doesn’t have to be. I know a lot about divorce recovery and in this video I will give you the inside scoop about a simple step to restore you faith in yourself, post-divorce. ______________________________ Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your SELF  —  This is a 4-part video series that will help youn in Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your SELF. Buy Now for Instant Access! Actual Value — $300 Offer value — $97 Offer valid until September 30, 2019 BUY HERE ________________________________